Filed Under (Uncategorized) by catharine on Dec-07-07

We have finally submitted the last of our application paperwork.  Neither Cliff nor I have Tuberculosis (yes, we join you in breathing a collective sigh of relief), and assuming all goes well on Monday during our home health inspection, and they find that, in fact, we do have indoor plumbing and, in fact, do not have evidence of rodents in the house (these are among the minimum standards I was given), we should be able to begin our Home Study this month–maybe.  It seems difficult to get a straight answer out of anyone, and since we did drag our feet this fall while I taught and finished my thesis, I feel no need to rush anyone along–not that I harbor any delusions of actual control anymore anyway. 

I rarely feel a need to rush at all these days as my five and ten year plans out of college are entirely shot to h#*@ at this point.  First there was a sense of urgency, then there was panic, and finally there was a numbing sense of calm; they say you feel the same way just before you freeze to death.  Why do they make us write those things?  It seems their only purpose is to cause one to have mini life crises at even intervals of five and ten years when it becomes apparent that one’s goals were utterly unrealistic, or at least did not take into account two and a half years of infertility treatment, the bureaucracies associated with Child Protective Services, or the actual amount of time it takes to pay back student loans.  Somehow those details were not calculated into the grand plan–somehow those all important milestones that have literally consumed years of my 20s did not even exist ten years ago.  Maybe the purpose of the five and ten year plan is to evenly space the crises, which would otherwise come at inconveniently unexpected intervals?  Now, I can simply pencil it onto my calendar–“May 15, 2013, begin mini life crisis because you have not built enough equity in your home, you still have not decided if/when to do a PhD, you can no longer recite the first 30 lines of the Iliad in dactylic hexameter.”  The last one probably won’t bother me that much, but you never know–at least I can forgo panic related to it now for a neatly scheduled panic attack five years from now.  very civilized.

 Well, all that being said, we hope to soon announce that the state deems us fit to parent.  My two-year-old nephew will be relieved to know it.  Last night he informed me and his mother that “mamma works, but Catcoo doesn’t work.”  “Catcoo” is my deliciously adorable nickname that I hope will survive my nephew’s toddler years.  Now, why he has concluded that I don’t work is not clear; it certainly feels like work whenever I’m running around after him, and by the time I’ve graded 40 Greek exams in one afternoon, I’m convinced that I work.  But, because he’s two, and primarily because he calls me Catcoo and cheers when he sees me, his conclusions about my professional shortcomings seem not only adorable but also somehow insightful.  Maybe I shouldn’t work!  Maybe all I want is to spend my days with two year olds who claim every object within reach is their’s and demand to eat fig newtons like appetizers before every meal?  I’m certainly considering it.

 Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.”  Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring.  What is your life?  For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.  Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.”  As it is you boast in your arrogance; all such boasting is evil. (James 4.12-16)


2 Comments posted on "The most recent milestone"
Yodasmistress on December 10th, 2007 at 5:21 pm #

I’m not sure I ever wrote out my 5 and 10 year plan. But I sure did have it all ironed out in my head. And yeah, it’s gone to hell in a handbasket. The causes for me would be IF and DH’s circulatory problems. It is funny how the possibility of imperfect health never even crossed my mind …

Julia on December 12th, 2007 at 2:14 pm #

Catcoo, I know how hard you work… and Daniel would admit it too (as long as your prompt him with a fig newton first) I know you will pour yourself into whatever task lies before you…career, parenting – or BOTH – you are a trailblazer by nature. Do you need me to come over with some cheese to entice any rats out? Or Bronius could bring his fiddle and charm them all the way out of the city limits? Seriously – I know everything will go well. No one is more fit to be parents than you and Cliff. Love you both. ~ Julie

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